March 16, 2009

Dancing with the Stars: All Sizzle and No Sausage Edition

Welcome back to week 2 of Dancing with the Stars - where contestants drop out more often than they get voted off. Steve-O is a no-show, but it's all good - the judges have sparkly new paddles now!


Holly Madison and Dmitry Chaplin: Ha, "Holly-day." Rehearsal footage tells us these two have nothing in common, and it showed in this rushed quick-step. Poor girl got dragged all around the floor and Bruno got it right when it said she looked like she was "running for the bus." Holly definitely has potential, but she has to start dancing next week.

David Alan Grier and Kym Johnson: Usually my eyes glaze over when these two appear, but I actually sort of paid attention this time. I didn't think this was too bad, but it didn't seem like David was really trying. And David, you're still not funny.

Denise Richards and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Barf, Grease. Denise really improved in a week - the routine was a little slow for my taste, but I thought they did a great job. She might actually be a contender in the coming weeks. And Maks, how I love thee.

Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan Roberts: Uh ... well, she forgot the dance, tapped her boobs, and flipped upside down. The choreography was pretty blah here - there was a part of the dance where absolutely nothing happened. I think Carrie Ann was right on when she said there was no grace in her dancing, but I think they're still safe for next week.

Ty Murray and Chelsie Hightower: Good. for. them. HUGE improvement over last week - and they're just so damn likeable. And although "Life is a Highway" is a terrible quick step song, Chelsie did a great job with the choreography - and looked damn gorgeous. Yay for these guys!

Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas: Oh Mark, how I love thee. Oh Shawn, how you continue to be adorable. She needs to watch out for those gymnastics arms, but these guys are well on their way to the finals.

Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff: Injury #3 in week #2. Impressive, DWTS. The Woz dancing in Chucks is kind of adorable. I can definitely overlook the quality of the dancing here because I just find him so darn charming. Whatever, so he's not Mario Lopez. I love these guys.

Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough: I love Julianne. I do not love her fringe pants. And I am not nearly as excited about these guys as I want to be. I actually think the fact that they're dating is something of a hindrance because I don't think Julianne is as inclined to push him as she has been with past partners. If Cody or Helio didn't want to do "girly steps," Julianne never would have put up with that and would have made them do it anyway. These guys need to shape up, fast.

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska: Strangely, ballroom seems to suit Lawrence much better. More big improvements, and I think they're going to be around for awhile.

Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer: Turns out doing "the salsa Steve-O style" will land you in the hospital. Like 12% of the contestants this season! Good thing DWTS can manufacture "official rules" for times like these. Kind of a shame, because from the rehearsal footage it looked like it could have been fun. And whoa, let's all talk smack about Steve-O while he is not there. Classy.

Lil' Kim and Derek Hough: Blergh, I'm so over Derek and his hamming. I do give him props for that choreography, but I agree with Len here on the lack of refinement. I'm glad I'm not the only one who missed the love train with these guys.

Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani: Melissa is actually one of the best ones in the competition, despite being the total newbie. The choreography was kind of awkward, but whatever. Tony might be the luckiest loser in DWTS history ("It's been awhile to see a 9"), and getting dumped on national television may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to Melissa.

Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke: The fact that these two got the coveted last place spot means 1. the producers love him and 2. they got a lot of votes last week. How convenient that his "shoulder hurt" and he needed to remove his shirt in rehearsals ... ugh. Transparent pandering for votes. Uh, and guess what? That stupid Clark Kent/Superman nonsense? Edyta and Cameron did it better.

So, who's going home tomorrow? I'm thinking David Alan Grier, or maybe Steve-O.

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