Dancing with the Stars: Donny and Bruno, Sittin' in a Tree ...

Len is back, Tom DeLay is injured, and Bruno got some sugah on the judges table .... business as usual on this show.

Mark and Lacey: Ick. The rumba is traditionally a very sexy, romantic dance, and this one was kind of trashy and disconnected. There was no chemistry between these guys, and the choreography seemed kind of easy. Carrie Ann said they made her uncomfortable, and I'm inclined to agree.

Joanna and Derek: For the love of ballroom, Joanna, POINT YOUR TOES. The poor girl appeared to be dragged around through most of this and even had some shades of Holly Madison at times. But Derek definitely earned his keep by Tarzan swinging onto the dance floor.

Mya and Dmitry: Wow, sizzle much? Each week, these two get better and better and I would be shocked if these guys don't end up in the finals. This was a gorgeous, sexy rumba, and well deserving of two 10s (a seven Len? really?)

Melissa Joan and Mark: MJ is so adorably dorky, and Mark is just adorable. Tiki torches whaaat is happening. Someone in the makeup department clearly hates my girl MJ (hot pink lipstick?), but this routine was not quite the hot mess I thought it was going to be. She did a respectable job and she's definitely improving from week to week.

Louie and Chelsie: Squeeeeee I nearly died during their rehearsal footage from all the cute. If they don't become a real-life couple by the end of this season I'll be so surprised. And then all the cuteness melted away, Vito Sauve came out, and things got all hot and steamy in the ballroom. Their chemistry was INSANE, Chelsie looked amazing, and GAH - just - speechless with my love for these two.

Debi and Maks: Yay, Mel B! For the record, Mel B was my favorite DWTS contestant ever. Also, this may have been the corniest samba since Jerry Springer was on the show. Debi looked lost through a lot of this routine, and Maks seems ... off? I don't know, maybe it's the Karina breakup or something. I can't imagine they'll last much longer.

Donny and Kym: Donny's sexy side in 3,2,1 ... okay, it's safe. This was less sexy and more "wedding dance," but I thought he did a decent job. A little stiff in places, but this was much better than expected. Fun fact: want to know how to boost your scores? Mime-smooch Bruno, bend him over the judges table, and do very non TV-PG things to him. Insert awkward pause.

And then because things were not crazy enough, let's go to Paula Abdul! Paula, in her 4 seconds of screen time, called Len "Mr. Badman," said Donny Osmond was "delusional" and suggested she make out with Carrie Ann. Dear DWTS, please give this woman a job.

Michael and Anna: Oh Michael, you are not Jerry Rice, Emmett Smith, or even LT. Jeez, how about we do some dancing in our dance? Snore. SNORE. Please go home.

Natalie and Alec: If you need to learn how to sexydance, Edyta is the best teacher there is. And it looks like Natalie has learned a thing or two. This was a huge improvement on what she's done in recent weeks, and Bruno was so excited he yelled "SEXY BEAST!" I was hoping for a repeat of my all-time favorite Bruno line - "Sexy! 10!" - but a 9 will do.

Chuck and Anna: On paper, Chuck Liddell + samba = recipe for disaster. I'm still confused as to why he was doing kung-fu kicks during this, but it definitely could have been worse. The judges let him off on the "well, it was entertaining" schtick, but he still has a ways to go if he wants to improve.

Aaron and Karina: Why is Aaron wearing my grandmother's sweater? This was nowhere near as good as their performance last week - his rumba was wild and out of control at times and he was definitely overacting here. Not so good without the Muppets, are we?

And now, the moment we've all be anxiously awaiting - will Tom DeLay dance? Yes!

Tom and Cheryl: Tom keeps doing the robot instead of the samba, which seems strangely appropriate. He has stress fractures in both feet, but has decided to power through - admirable enough. Less admirable, however, was his explanation: "what's a little pain when you can party?" And just when you thought he had hit rock bottom, the routine started. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a political samba. MAKE. IT. STOP.

Kelly and Louis: Oh dear, the wardrobe department has been drinking again. But yay, Kelly is back! Her joy is so infectious that it can make up for the technical oopsies along the way. I'm so glad to see her getting her confidence back.

And then, the results show. Strangely, Chuck and Anna were given the encore performance. Really? Out of all the great performances from Monday night? The judges have gone crazy!

Then, Tom DeLay mercifully announced he would be leaving the competition due to his injuries. But that doesn't mean anyone gets a stay of execution - someone is still going home tonight.

Michael/Anna and Debi/Maks were in the bottom two, no surprises, and then Debi and Maks were sent packing.

Next week I'll be recapping over at The Disney Blog - so be sure to visit!
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