Dancing with the Stars: Everyone has Germs

This week, the ballroom is invaded by the most unfortunate affliction since Drew Lachey ... THE FLU (da da DUM). Will our stars be able to samba while sniffling? Paso while puking? Rhumba with a runny nose? Only time will tell ....

Samantha Harris's hair seems to have caught something of its own ... like a nest of fledgling pigeons. Perhaps she is trying to scare the germs away?

Other scary things - Derek Hough looks a lot like Maks, and Louis Van Amstel is way too into his eye makeup. Enough with the craziness! The show hasn't even started yet!

Natalie and Alec: Paso Doble - Eesh. Timid, stiff, devoid of chemistry, this dance was really awkward. She has amazing potential, I just wish she would live up to it. The judges are all disappointed, and I think this routine plus the fact that they danced first could spell trouble.

Aaron and Karina: Argentine Tango - Could Karina be any hotter? Seriously, I think this is the best she's ever looked. Moving on to the routine - this was an amazing improvement over last week's disaster. It was sleek, sexy, and sultry. Bueno.

Michael and Anna: Paso Doble - Do not try to disguise yourself, Anna - going brunette will not save you. I seem to remember someone else doing a disastrous paso to this song a few seasons ago (if anyone can clarify this deja vu, please comment below). Also, the shirtless/suspenders look will. never. be. cool. The judges really liked this routine; I found it a bit frantic, especially when Michael started whipping Anna's skirt/cape/space blanket around. And just to top things off, Michael gave Bruno his butt nickel. I'm speechless.

Mya and Dmitry: Argentine Tango - Dmitry won his Emmy for choreography an Argentine Tango, so I had huge expectations for this. And it turned out to be an impressive routine! I don't know that it was Mya's best dance ever, but it was a solid performance with great choreography.

Mark and Lacey: Paso Doble - Wow, where has that been hiding? This was an explosive paso doble, backed by some incredible choreography (go Lacey!). Definitely his best performance to date.

Donny and Kym: Argentine Tango - Given that sexiness is not Donny's strong suit, this was about as good as could be expected. He tried, but among all the other great tangos we've seen tonight, this one falls short. The judges seem to think otherwise, and then Donny and Bruno continued their awkward flirting. This gag is going to continue every week until he gets kicked off, we better get used to it.

Louie and Chelsie: Argentine Tango - Chelsie KILLED the Argentine Tango when she was on So You Think You Can Dance, so I was really hoping she could make this one work. And hoo boy, they pulled it off! Louie still has problems with his footwork, but this was easily his best performance so far.

Melissa and Mark: Argentine Tango - Mark has the DWTS flu, so Anna filled in as teacher. All things considered, this was okayyy - Melissa lost her footing a few times and was hampered by a matronly costume. It wasn't great, it wasn't terrible, I think they've done enough to keep them safe.

Kelly and Louis: Paso Doble - For a rock n roll paso, this was pretty tame. Kelly looked lost at times, and it was missing the bite of the usual paso. The judges were a little generous in their praise, but they'll definitely be safe for another week.

Joanna and Derek/Maks: Argentine Tango - Derek has been felled by the DWTS flu, so Maks is standing in for this week. Maks says it is "refreshing" how quickly Joanna picks up choreography, which is the Maks way of saying "I wish this show would give me better partners." You stay classy, Maks. As for this dance, I still think Joanna looks awkward (the curse of the tall people) and they had a very obvious stumble, but the sympathy vote should keep her safe.

Group dance: Hustle - Oh, how I hate the group dance. And of course, Disco King Corky Ballas is teaching this one. There weren't any particular standouts or failures, but one group deserves special recognition: the wig department. Ridiculous. Just ridiculous. And kind of amazing.

So if there's any justice in this world, Michael and Anna will go home tomorrow. But the ballroom is a fickle beast, so you never know ...

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