She Coulda Been a Contenda

Well, this didn't take long. Perez Hilton is reporting Jewel has sustained a knee injury during rehearsals and may not be able to continue in the competition.

On her official blog, Jewel wrote:

I guess I really over did it on the rehearsal front! My knees have been hurting so badly that I finally broke down and talked to Ty's knee doctor yesterday. He said I have tendonitis in my knees and that I have to start a course of medicine to try and bring the swelling down. Yuck! It's mainly my left knee, and I can't believe I hurt it so badly... Ty warned me I was over doing it, and now he got a big ol' 'I told you so' in. The worst part is that I can't rehearse for the next couple days. It was just so fun to dance 8 hours a day- especially considering I only had 3 weeks to cram not only for my first dance- cha cha, but to learn the fundamentals of about 6 other dances that I will have to know. But now I'm just worried I won't even be able to dance! Hopefully these steroids will really do the trick and I can keep bad flare ups
at a bay in the future.

The Disney Chicklette speculated that Jewel may have realized she is too famous for this show and is copping out. I think Jewel just doesn't get it. You have to save the injuries for that halfway point in the competition when you need the sympathy votes to take out your competitors! You can't create this dramz before the show even starts! Amateurs, sheesh. What's next? There was no one filming the rehearsal? No footage of this catastrophic incident for DWTS to replay over and over (and over)? At this rate, they'll have to superimpose Jewel's head on Misty May's body and just keep replaying that disaster footage (as if it wasn't already burned into our corneas).

This season is already off to a rocky start - can't wait to see what's in store for March 9!

New Dancing with the Stars Cast: Couples Counseling Edition

Dancing with the Stars is back! Well, almost. Last week was the big announcement of the cast of Season 213, and once again, DWTS goes to great lengths to stretch the definition of the word "star." Let's take a peek at the highs, the lows, and the oh nos:

Lil' Kim and Derek Hough: I imagine the DWTS brainstorm session went something like this: "Damn that Stevie Wonder - we coulda had the first blind contestant ever! Now what do we do? We've done deaf, we've done old, hell we've even done one-legged! How do we top ourselves?!!!" Ah, yes, by having an ex-felon on. Because the average female viewer (and core audience demographic) really respects a woman in pasties. Thanks DWTS, just what America needs right now - more questionable role models for girls. Expect to see these guys gone first.

Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer: Steve-O made his career out of being, literally, a jackass. Oh yeah, he's definitely taking this seriously. Another one I'm sure the moms out there will love.

Nancy O'Dell and Tony Dovolani: Nancy has Tony, so we know she's not going to win, thus - who cares?

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska: I love Edyta to pieces, and by giving her the football star history would imply the producers have finally thrown her a bone, but BOOOOOO GIANTS YOU SUCK. I'm sorry, I can't support this.

Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas: This is the couple I'm most excited about. Shawn is young enough to be in the DWTS Juniors Competition, but whatever. I love Mark, I love her, I have a feeling they're going to be a ton of fun. I'm already dying to see their freestyle routine - backflips galore!

Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough: I have no idea who Chuck Wicks is, besides the fact that he's hot and dating Julianne. Since there will be obvious post-rehearsal practicing, I think he has an advantage (beyond the obvious advantage of having Julianne as a partner to begin with). Not totally sure what the producers are hoping for here - maybe the drama of a mid-season breakup? Ridiculously sexy rumba moves? A surprise appearence by Cody Linley during the live show in which he proposes to Julianne then cries?

Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke: Again, I have no idea who Gilles is. According to the DWTS website, he played Samantha's next door neighbor in Sex and the City: The Movie. You know, the full frontal guy. ABC says this role "has earned him international recognition." Mm-hmm.

Denise Richards and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Denise is famous for being hot and wackadoo. Maks is famous (on this show, anyway) for being hot and focused. Oh, there will be tears. Sweet sweet tears.

Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff: Did Steve lose a bet? What on earth is he doing on Dancing with the Stars? The man co-founded Apple, for crying out loud. What does he have to prove? "Oh, whatever, so I can't tango. I'm still worth more than everyone else in this building COMBINED." And seriously, what did Karina do to deserve this pairing?

Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan Roberts: Ah Jonathan, how no one missed you and your chest hair last season. Seriously, put it away. You're scaring Shawn Johnson.

David Alan Grier and Kym Johnson: Guess who's not going to the finals this year? One of these days, Kym, one of these days you shall taste sweet Mirrorball victory .... but certainly not this season.

Ty Murray and OMFG Chelsie Hightower: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE CHELSIE!!!! I also love the way DWTS shamelessly poaches the most awesome talent off the far superior So You Think You Can Dance and makes it work here. I doubt that Ty can dance, but who cares. I love these guys already.

Jewel and OMFG Dmitry Chaplin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE DMITRY! I know the real story here is Jewel and Ty are married omg married people are competing now! how scandalous! but honestly, who cares. Jewel, you are way too good for this show, and Dmitry - what took you so long?

Obviously, much love is going out to my SYTYCD alums, and I'm super excited to see what Mark and Shawn can kick up - new season starts March 9! You can bet your Brunos I'll be there.

Where's the Mouse?

I had the pleasure of attending the New York Times Travel Show today and figured I'd share a few pics here:

Jacob Javitz Center - oooo, pretty. And enormous, like the price tag on the hot dog I had for lunch ($5.45 plus tax!)

Also happening that day was a spectacle of true awesomeness:

Woot! And this was hanging by the entrance:

3 more months, people.

Despite the NYT Travel Show being an enormous showcase of the best destinations, retreats, and fun times to be had around the world (my favorite tagline: fiji me.) Disney didn't have a presence there. Competitors Universal Studios and Busch Gardens/Sea World did. Universal Studios brought Bugs Bunny and Daffy along. Sea World upstaged the whole darn show with their special guests:

Penguins! Sadly, they were not included in the swag bag.

I was disappointed at the lack of Disney - some complimentary Dole Whips could have got that party started ... especially when combined with the rum punch being served over in the Caribbean section :) Lessons learned for next year!

Temple Del Stupido

The Mexico pavillion in Epcot inspires many different things in many different people. Some people think, mmm I'm hungry for overpriced tacos. Some people think, let's take an indoor boat ride to escape the heat. Some people think, oooo let's buy jewelry (that would be us). And then some people, some very special people, think it's a good idea to do this:

Hell to the No

I know, I know. It's been awhile. I can't blame it on a plane crash this time - just good ol' fashioned busy-ness and the winter blues. Even though I haven't been very diligent about writing, I have been keeping up with my Disney news, and my world collapsed when I read this article from Main Street Gazette telling me the one thing that could ruin our entire upcoming trip:

Because of Space Mountain's refurbishment, the Tomorrowland Transit Authority will also be closed during that time.

Clearly, the world hates me. Or someone at Disney World definitely does. I mean, I had just gotten over the fact that Space Mountain will be closed over the summer and now I hear that they're taking my absolute favorite ride in the whole resort away? The horror, the horror. Oh, the humanity.

Obviously, since the TTA's track runs through Space Mountain, this catastrophe makes a certain amount of sense. And yes, the TTA could use a little refurbishment of its own. But where are we supposed to spend 20% of our time in the Magic Kingdom? Where do we retreat to when it's hot and sticky and the FastPasses aren't ripe yet and everyone needs a time-out? Is there even a reason to go to Tomorrowland anymore?

So if you see me walking around the Magic Kingdom this July, just remember - I may appear to be having fun, but inside my heart = broken.