Idol Winner Kris Allen is Going to Disney World!

*swoon*

(thx to Orlando Attractions magazine)

Dancing with the Stars: And the Winner Is ....

... A DELICIOUS UPSET!!!!

My favorite part about the finals? When they do the flashbacks starting from the beginning of the season and you realize you forgot about 6 of these people were even on the show. Denise Richards? Holly Madison? The Woz? Belinda Carlisle? Geez it's been a long season. And yes, watching these guys dance is still as painful as ever. Why do you torment me, DWTS? Isn't this supposed to be a happy night?

Oh, and we get to learn which faux-professional gets to be on next season. Because I know you were dying to find out. It's Anna. Welcome Anna, welcome to the chaos. Watch out for that section by the judges table - it's cursed by Drew Lachey.

Lucky us - Jeffrey Ross is here to not be funny and roast the finalists. In addition to being really annoying, this came off as mean-spirited (yes, I know it's a roast), although he was not completely wrong: "This is the first season where no stars have made it to the finals [...] I didnt realize this show was called Dancing with the Vaguely Familiar" True, yes, but still mean. Melissa was all "it's true tee hee," Shawn was all "eff you dude, I have an OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL," and Gilles seemed heartbroken because he was under the impression that showing his "cha cha" in the god-awful Sex and the City movie did made him famous. Oh and let's make fun of the Woz's weight. Get it? He's not skinny! Har har har. Oh and Melissa got dumped on national television! Hahaha let's all laugh at her and humiliate her some more. Dear DWTS, can we lose this crapshow next season? Please?

An hour and twenty minutes into this never ending finale, we finally get to see the finalists dance. There's not really much to remark here, since we've seen all this before, but at least the judges were nice to Shmark!

And now, finally, the results. Third place goes to Melissa and Tony, no big surprise. It's incredible that she made the finals after coming on the show with only 2 days of preparation. And kudos to Tony too - he did a great job with her this season. Closest results ever (less than 1%), and THANK YOU AMERICA for getting this one right! That's right Cheryl, wipe that smirk off your face because no one cares about your sexy! Shawn and Mark are the champions! They battled undeserved judges' criticism and producer conspiracies, but they did it! (and how adorable was their completely genuine reaction? love.)

Well, after 1248617 weeks, this season has come to a wonderful close. Thanks for staying with me, and you can bet your sparkly britches I'll be recapping next fall.

Dancing with the Stars: The Finals Are Here!

All these weeks, all those injuries, all the nonsense this season has been leading up to this night. Let's go!

Did you know that when they are not judging, Len rides around in a limo, Bruno tans by the pool, and Carrie Ann eats salad? Because they do!

First up: the paso doble face-off!

Shawn and Mark: Shmark kicked it off and set the bar really high. Very precise, lots of energy, a solid performance.

Melissa and Tony: Melissa looked amazing here, especially since she was borrwing Mel B's paso wardrobe from a few seasons ago, but at times she got a little balletic and I think she lost the choreography at one point.

Gilles and Cheryl: Of course they would get the coveted last spot. Of course. Of the three, this was the least "paso doble" of the paso dobles, not that it matters because the judges are obviously going to deem them the winners.

Oh boy ... the freestyle!

Shawn and Mark: Whoa, Shane Sparks inspired much? Someone's been watching So You Think You Can Dance .... not sure what the beginning was about, but holy hell this was awesome. Unbelievably difficult lifts, super fun choreography, just pure awesomeness. These guys deserve to win, and I think this will be tough to top. Damn straight it was a 30.

Melissa and Tony: MESH SHIRT ALERT! Nooooo Tony nooooo. This was good and clean, but it felt like a cheer routine. It was just a string of tricks and lifts and jumps, which is fine, but it was nowhere near as awesome as Shmark's.

Gilles and Cheryl: I'll be honest, I was expecting them to pull out a pole. Nope, just Flashdance. This was pretty fun, and Gilles definitely has a career playing Danny Zuko in future productions of Grease, but Shmark still won this round hands-down.

So who's going home with the trophy? It's a tough race, but Shawn and Mark deserve to win. Will they get the gold or be trumped by show favorites Gilles and Cheryl? I don't know, but you can bet I'll be watching tomorrow.

Warning: Manta-Induced Motion Sickness May Occur

I usually try to stick to Disney-themed stuff here, but this video is too good not to share:



Woooeee! I'm a big fan of roller coasters, and this one looks amazing! (Thanks to @thedisneyblog)

A Special Happy Birthday

The Disney Chicklette turns 21 today. This makes me feel old in ways you cannot even imagine, but mostly I wish I could be with her today to celebrate, and not just because she is currently studying in Ireland. She's been largely absent from this blog for that reason, but stay tuned because she has some stories, tips, and pictures from a recent visit to Disneyland Paris that will be gracing this site very soon.

In her 21 years, the Disney Chicklette and I have had some memorable times in WDW, including the time she screamed at Smee until he ran away and the time I ended up abandoned in Tomorrowland, causing irreparable psychological damage. These days, our Disney adventures are more subdued, but no less memorable. Well, except for that one Frontierland incident.

So, dear sister - happy birthday. I look forward to eating filet with you and scream-singing the lyrics to "Wishes" as we run to the buses to beat the crowds.

Dancing with the Stars: And Then There Were Three Edition

Here we go! Who's going to the finals?

I was glad to see Shmark get the encore tonight because they did have the best routine last night, and they are also the best couple left standing.

GAH ACK WHO LET DREW LACHEY BACK INTO THE BUILDING? He's the phantom who's haunting the ballroom, I swear. All those injuries? It reeks of Lachey - he's obviously hexed the dance floor so that eventually, one day, the producers will run out of celebrities and they will have to invite him back to compete. Dancing with the Drew - coming 2010.

Also, Helio - aren't you supposed to be in jail for tax evasion or something?

Ugh, Mayo. What is the point of this charade again? What happens if we don't like either pseudo-professional? Here's a solution: hire Pasha and Anya from So You Think You Can Dance - they've been on this show before, and they are infinitely more awesome.

Sigh, Maks. You were sorely missed this season.

And now, moment of truth - goodbye Ty. Congrats on making it this far, now go ride off into the sunset.

The Princess and the Frog Trailer

It's here! And it looks gorgeous!

Dancing with the Stars: What We Have Here is Catherine Zeta Shaaaawn

The semifinals are here! It's down to a cowboy, an Olympian, a naked man, and a girl America still feels sorry for. It's time to pony up or shut up and aaaaa Mark what is with the eyeliner?

For whatever reason, we are made to watch past performances while the couples provide commentary on how awesome they are. Two hours, people. We gotta stretch this to two hours.

Melissa and Tony: Quickstep - Tony deserves major kudos for choreographing such a cute quickstep - pure Hollywood glamour. Bruno and Carrie Ann claim it wasn't exhilirating enough, but isn't part of that problem music-related? "I've Got Rhythm" doesn't have the fastest tempo to begin with ... I think that's kind of unfair, especially since it was technically sound. Cha Cha Cha - Another weird musical selection here, and I think had they had a faster song they could have brought more of a Latin feel - but "Save the Last Dance" is really more of a foxtrot song. Since this is the second time in one night these guys were given a blah song, I'm going to cry CONSPIRACY! DWTS why must you be so shady?

Gilles and Cheryl: Waltz - Gilles with his hair slicked back reminds me of a cross between Antonio Bandares and a former dance teacher of mine. Oh wait, the dancing - well, I think this routine was exactly what Bruno and Carrie Ann were babbling about with Melissa and Tony - it wasnt exciting. But oh wait, this time it's okay! Because it's Gilles and Cheryl! And DWTS has to make sure they win! Salsa - Maracas, not sexy. Sparkly sleeveless oxfords, pajama pants, and purple slippers? Not sexy either. I can acknowledge that Gilles danced this very well, but I was left underwhelmed ... not that it matters. Because the judges love it, obviously. Gilles could do the running man and they would give it a 10. Oh, did you know Gilles and Cheryl are sexy? Did you know they will take their sexy to the sexy finals to win a sexy trophy while being sexy?

Shawn and Mark: Argentine Tango - I have been waiting for Shmark to get their Buenos Aires on all season. And it.was.awesome. Those lifts! Those lines! The precision! The Shmark! The long overdue perfect score! Jive - I think the jive is Mark's favorite dance because it gives him free range to pull even more ridiculous faces than usual. That being said, this was adorable. It seemed like there were some synchronicity issues here and there, but whatever. Still love them. The judges still underrate them - an 8?! WTF CONSPIRACY!

Ty and Chelsie: Viennese Waltz - I love watching Ty, even when he's clomping around instead of gliding. He's obviously better at the ballroom dances, but I do think his time on DWTS has run its course, sadly. Samba - "The samba is supposed to be like a party, but it's more like a pain in the ass with a bunch of steps you have to remember." HA. Oh Ty, the only thing I love more than your sound bites is the fact that you have to shake your entire body in order to shake your booty.

It won't happen, but I'm hoping for a sexy backlash that sends Gilles' sexy ass packing and Cheryl left to shed sexy tears.

Dancing with the Stars: "Besides the Big Giant Guy Who Invented Computers" Edition

It's always a good week when ballroom trainwreck Kenny Mayne drops by. I don't know why, but I continue to find these absurd DanceCenter segments hilarious, head rhinestones and all.

Oh shock - Gilles and Cheryl are safe. Did you hear they are also sexy?

Items I can file under "Things I Did Not Need to Know": what Len looks like with his shirt off.

Oh look, the Macy's Stars of Dance performers are dancing in a star. On a show called Dancing with the Stars. This is about as subtle as when Gilles and Cheryl rumba'ed to "Sexual Healing."

And then we were treated/subjected to the god-awful and poorly explained could-be professional competition, which has also dragged down unemployed "stars" Cody Linley, Lisa Rinna, and Maurice Greene. I residually adore Cody from last season, although Afton is no Julianne. I kind of love Mayo, and not only because he is named for my favorite condiment, but because he is absurdly tall and made entirely of cheese. Anna's choreography was fabulous - she's my fav.

I'm so glad Melissa and Shawn were spared the bottom two, but ACK NO! WHAT? I mean, I've never been a fan of Lil Kim for reasons completely unrelated to her dancing, but I am truly sorry to see her go. I don't think this was her time to leave, but what's DWTS without a surprise elimination?

Dancing with the Stars: "You Tried to Be a Lady But You're More Comfortable Being a Tramp" Edition

5 couples! 2 dances! Solo rounds! We're in the home stretch now!

BALLROOM ROUND:

Shawn and Mark: YAY! I held my breath through their whole performance - so fast! so cute! And they danced to an Aladdin song! Of course, the judges find stupid fault with it because if they didn't, then they couldn't fix the competition so Gilles could win. But for everyone else who's playing fair, this was a perfect 30 routine.

Ty and Chelsie: Could Chelsie be any hotter? Choo Choo! Hot tamale train coming through! I loved the choreography here - this was a difficult dance too. Ty is never going to be the smoothest, suavest guy out there, but he's definitely the most likeable.

Lil Kim and Derek: I'm not entirely sure what story they were trying to convey, but this dance seemed awkward. And the height difference between Lil Kim and Derek automatically makes them a little clumsy looking. In a way, it almost doesn't matter - they're going to rock the latin round.

Gilles and Cheryl: Of course they would be doing a foxtrot to "Fever." Of course. There have definitely been better foxtrots on this show, but the judges don't know it. There wasn't much content in this routine at all, but no one seems to care. Why would the judges bother critiquing fairly?

Melissa and Tony: Hideous Kleenex sleeves alert! The choreography was super cheesy here, but it did show off Melissa's best weapon - her leg extensions. I'm glad she was saved last week, and you just know Tony can taste the semifinals at this point.

Intermission: What in the name of Hades is this stupid pro dancer pageant? And why is Cody Linley being dragged into this nonsense?

LATIN ROUND:

Shawn and Mark: Um. AWESOME. Who knew Shawn could lose the cute and pull that off? Gorgeous lines, flawless technique, just amazing. Oh wait, Len wants to complain (and haha, Mark rolls his eyes). Shawn is lightyears better than everyone else in this competition - its so frusterating how she's been consistently underrated and underscored this whole season. But finally, some 10s. Should have been a 30.

Ty and Chelsie: You kind of knew this was going to be a disaster, but oh dear. Ty does make up for his lack of rumba skills by being so darn adorable, and I love that his solo consisted of awkward hip gyrations. America, please. Keep him one more week.

Lil Kim and Derek: Lil Kim seems to be having an off night. There were a couple blunders and it wasn't always synchronized ... almost like she was so excited to be doing the salsa that she couldn't control her energy. But oh dear, I replayed Bruno's awkward song-and-dance celebration a couple times - "You spin my head right round right round when you get down when you get down" - genius. Amazing.

Gilles and Cheryl: Oh dear. Of course - of course - they are dancing to "Sexual Healing." Dear DWTS: we get it. Gilles is a sexy man. You know what is not sexy? Powder blue mesh shirts. Also, how clever of Cheryl to choreograph some rolling around on the ballroom floor - which is not dance-related, nor appropriate. Is anyone else bored with these two?

Melissa and Tony: Haha, Melissa: "I don't know if I'm a celebrity, so can I get out of [the solo] on a technicality?" Oh, I love you a little more for that. Melissa's boob fell out (mortifying) but she kept going! Although I was so focused on her impending wardrobe malfunction, this was a great, great routine.

Sadly, I think Ty might be riding off into the sunset tomorrow. Sigh.