Fashion with the Stars: It's Gonna Be a Sparkly Season!

Well, hello there! Long time, no post - I know. Between the stress of moving, the drama of being without cable/internet (thanks, Time Warner Cable), and day job committments, it's been a stressful month. But! I'm back in action now, and with a brand new blog feature.

If you've been reading this blog for some time, you know that I've been recapping Dancing with the Stars since the beginning. This season, my recaps will be featured over at The Disney Blog, one of my favorite Disney sites. I'm honored and excited by the opportunity, and I hope you'll follow me over there for your DWTS recaps. But I didn't want to abandon DWTS completely on this blog, so I'm turning my attentions to an underrated piece of the show - the costumes! Each week I'll be putting my best Nina Garcia face on and going through the good, bad, and ugly of each performance night. And so:

(*Disclaimer: The ABC video player is not the best, so some of these screenshots are shaky. I hope to fix this in the coming weeks)

Chad and Cheryl:

Chad, did you not get the memo? On this show, the men wear SPARKLES. This is not an NFL after party where you cruise for groupie babes who are impressed by your smooth styling. Chad's obviously in denial here (the fringe pants are cominggggg for you), but there's no denying he looks great in this outfit. Outfit, not costume. And so, disqualified!

Mark and Shannen:

Shannen used to play a witch on a popular TV show. And then she had that other show, Charmed. And so, it's no surprise that her costume suggests the witching hour is nigh. I think that with a different neckline and no gloves (no. gloves. ever!), this could be quite pretty. But right now it's looking like she's a bridesmaid who got attacked by a squid on the way to the alter. And Mark constantly dresses in monochromatic suits, and so this Johnny Cash homage is no surprise.

Evan and Anna:

Well well, looks like Cinderella and Prince Charming are taking a turn around the dance floor on their way to happily ever after. Waltz costumes often lean towards "shiny bridesmaid," but Anna looks gorgeous here. And Evan in a tux? Need I say more?

Nicole and Derek:

Nicole has a ni-cold. Luckily, she attached Kleenex to her wrists to help with the mid-dance sniffles.

Watch out behind you! It's Sparkle-Vest Syndrome!

Niecy and Louis:

Louis, you're the bees knees. No really, you look like a bumblebee. However, this is nowhere near as bad as the flamenco fringe pants fiasco of 2009, so let's celebrate what little victories we can. And Niecy has already made it loud and clear that she's proud to show off her curves, and I think she looks great here.

Buzz and Ashly:

Mmm ... vesty. I know that we all love Buzz because he's adorable and walked on the moon and whatnot, but is anyone else creeped out by the age difference between these two? Are there really no "older" professional ballroom dancers? When Cloris Leachman did the show, she got Corky Ballas - just sayin'. And so here, this reads: Hey there, pretty lady. Why don't you come take a turn with Gramps around the dance floor? And then Ashly grabs her husband and says, "It's time to go. Your grandfather is hitting on me again." Also, why is Buzz wearing a watch? Is that an astronaut thing or is he just obsessed with the time?

Pretty in Pink Overload

Jake and Chelsie:

What's blonde, pink, shiny, and has wings like a bat?

Kate Gosselin!

Fringe is for Sexy ...

On Dancing with the Stars, fringe comes in many forms. There is the chicken fringe ...

Erin and Maks:

There is the I'm-famous-for-wearing-a-bathing-suit-and-so-here-is-a-bathing-suit-with-fringe fringe:

Pamela and Damian:

... and then there is Naked Fringe.

Aiden and Edyta:

She has to be wearing a bodysuit underneath, right? And I have to wonder how much time Edyta spends upkeeping her physical perfection. She's obviously a natural beauty, but all the tanning and waxing and exercising must wear her down. I imagine the designing session for this outfit went something like this -

Wardrobe Man: We're out! We're out of everything!

Edyta: Everything?

Wardrobe Man: Everything! We used our last scrap of fabric making bat wings for Kate Gosselin. What will we dooooo?

Edyta: Wait, there's a skein of fringe over in the corner. I'll wear that. Gimme your glue gun!

And on that note, I'm going to go eat a cupcake and be glad my day job doesn't require me to wear fringe on national television.

---
Related Links:

* An Ode to Samantha Harris