When I say sexy, you say Minnie Mouse! SEXY! MINNIE MOUSE! SEXY! MINNIE MOUSE! Sounds ridiculous, and yet ... this.
Forever 21 is partnering with Disney Consumer Products to offer a new line of Minnie Mouse branded items in which Minnie gets a new look. Call it a makeover. And by "makeover," I mean "now looks like a person with a mouse head."
The Disney Blog pointed out that the writing was (literally) on the wall for this, if you've seen the image of Minnie that's currently in the Trend-D store in Downtown Disney.
When I saw this in the store, I didn't think, "Hey, Minnie looks so fun and glamorous now!" I was more curious to know why Minnie was wearing Pamela Anderson's shoes.
Let's look at the evidence. According to Disney Consumer Products, the new style "is fresh and portrays Minnie Mouse in a way no one has ever seen her before, leggy, modern and glamorous."
Sorry, but "Minnie Mouse Off to the Runway" looks like she is on her way back from getting wasted at a Fashion Week after party. The crooked bow, the heavy lids, the off-kilter stance - you've been doing something naughty, haven't you, Minnie? (Ew.) And is she not wearing any pants? Did they actually go so far as to give Minnie white legs? (Minnie, being a mouse, would actually have black legs to match her face.) Or are they supposed to be leggings, which are never - never - an acceptable substitute for pants, and no "glamorous" women would ever wear them as such?
More distressing, this incarnation of Minnie removes the "mouse" entirely. Apparently no one at Disney or Forever 21 realized that the reason no one has ever seen Minnie as being "leggy" before is because SHE IS A MOUSE. Humans have long leggy legs. Mice do not. Mice-people are creepy.
I could write a whole separate post on the problem that Leggy Modern Glamorous Minnie Mouse poses in the message she sends to her target audience, mainly impressionable tweenage girls. The stick-insect legs, the heavy makeup, the stilettos - the next thing you know, Minnie will be hanging out with Jessica Rabbit and smoking cigarettes behind the school with the Bratz dolls.
Maybe Leggy Modern Glamorous Minnie Mouse will take off and become a sensation. But I really hope not. And as for me, I'll be taking my Leggy Modern Glamorous self over to the Disney Store, where you can find a classic, sweeter Minnie - even if she does have stumpy legs.
This post is part of the DisMarks blog carnival - check it out for more great Disney posts.
* The Problem with Disney Princesses
* Disney's Real Leading Ladies
* Finally! A Princess I Can Get Behind