Dancing with the Stars Season 11 Cast Announced: We've Got a Situation on Our Hands

Tonight, ABC finally put all the rumormongering to rest and announced the cast of Dancing with the Stars, Season I've Stopped Counting (just kidding, it's Season Eleven). Let's check the damage:

Brandy - Ick. If you kill someone, you don't get to be on a popular TV show. The end.

Jennifer Grey - She'll have the time of her life, all right.

Margaret Cho - Is this a joke? No really, is this a joke?

Audrina Patridge - I want to run for the Hills. Do. Not. Want.

Florence Henderson - Okay, so this season's Token Older Person is actually ... not bad. Team Florence!

Bristol Palin - Well, she can't be worse than Kate Gosselin, right? Right?!

Michael Bolton - I'm speechless. And now I have "Time Love & Tenderness" in my head.

The Situation - I pity his partner, but this is going to be AMAZING. 

David Hasselhoff - I don't hate this. He could actually do really well, if he gets the audience on his side.

Kurt Warner - Blah blah blah token NFL star blah blah.

Kyle Massey - Um. Okaaaaayyyyy .... were there no other Disney Channel stars available?

Rick Fox - As a Celtics fan, I'm distraught. Rick, why did you have to go play for the Lakers? Let's settle on being frenemies and call it a day.

Of course, we can't start placing bets until we know who has which professional partner, but offhand, my money's on The Olympian. Oh wait, there's no Olympian this season? Then it's a total crapshoot.

Dancing with the Stars starts Monday, September 20. Consider yourself warned.
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