The Disney Princesses Get a New Look

The Disney Store just announced their new line of designer Princess dolls, and for the low price of $595, all 10 can be yours:

Is that Cher in the middle?

Yeeeahhh. I have a somewhat tragic history with dolls, and longtime readers of this blog know how I feel about the Disney Princesses. But on the surface, I do not hate this. I mean, I hate that all the ladies have ridiculously stupidly small waistlines and that Snow White (my favorite 14 year old princess) appears to have had a few, erm, enhancements to her bosom. But Disney does a new take on the princesses (baby versions, that new Kikada line) every so often, so fine. And according to the Disney Store's description:

The idea behind the Disney Princess Designer Collection was to re-imagine the princesses in a way we’ve never done before, by giving them a high fashion edge while still capturing each princess’s classically unique look.

Sounds like a Project Runway challenge. I'm in. But this is the best they could come up with? And so, I'm putting on my best Nina Garcia Squint of Disapproval and going down the line (big version here):

Rapunzel: Love the hair, but the napkin-meets-corset bodice? No. And is it just me, or does her face bear a striking resemblance to Scarlett Johanssen?

Aurora: She's wearing the same dress as before, no? And that HAIR.

Ariel:  Now THIS is how you reimagine a princess. Fah-bulous.

Snow White: Oh dear, where to start. Well, apparently puberty hit Ms. White hard, because her chest is so enormous that she is the only princess who requires straps on her gown. Then there's the gloves, the floor-length cape, the Sunset Strip makeup. Do. Not. Want.

Pocahontas: This is supposed to be Pocahontas, right? I came to this conclusion only after identifying the others and figuring out who was missing. Her dress looks like something Brooke Burke would wear on Dancing with the Stars.

Jasmine: I like this, but I wish her skirt wasn't two skirts. Make up your minds, designers.

Belle: It's a little "prom," but of the group, she looks the most like a princess. The bottom is gorgeous, and I could see this image selling some serious merchandise.

Mulan: After she saved China, Mulan fell on some hard times and was forced to work as a geisha girl in order to make ends meet.

Cinderella: GIANT BUTT BOW.

Tiana: This is the exact same dress she wears in the movie, but now she has a different hairstyle. Lazy.

The complete set will be available for pre-purchase at the D23 Expo, and a new Limited Edition doll will be released in Disney Stores (and online) every Monday, starting August 22.

What do you think? Which one is your favorite? Which one deserves to be "out"?

---
You Might Also Like:
* Princess Cake - Akershus, Epcot
* In Defense of the Living Seas
* Finally! A Princess I Can Get Behind