AVATAR-Land: Worthy of Extinction

She'll look terrible in Mickey ears.

When I first saw the news about Disney partnering with James Cameron to bring an AVATAR-land to Animal Kingdom, my original thought was, wait, is it April Fools Day? And then, when I realized this was shockingly real, I got very, very angry.

First, as someone who cares deeply about wildlife conservation, I am incredibly disappointed that Disney would distract guests from the ANIMAL Kingdom with this complete waste of space, money, and WDI's opportunity to create their own things. Of course, who needs integrity and conservation when you could have James Cameron on board? The mighty James Cameron, whose movies are so saccharine and cliched that even Britney Spears mocks them. The James Cameron who routinely sacrifices story and plot for cheesy special effects, and not in the fun Michael Bay way. The James Cameron who made AVATAR, the most expensive movie of our time. THAT James Cameron.

Second, and I know that Animal Kingdom contains non-wildlife things (yetis and dinosaurs, mostly), but wouldn't AVATAR-Land be better off as a moviemaking thing in Disney's Hollywood Studios? You know, that park that's still stuck in the late 90s? And I'm just going to say it: AVATAR is a terrible movie. Let's be real: it's a self-indulgent embarrassment to science fiction. (Case in point: early in the film Sigourney Weaver's character lights a cigarette. In a closed oxygenated environment. In space. And doesn't blow up.)

I'm sad, because I want Animal Kingdom to be a place where kids can discover and fall in love with animals, so that one day they will fight to protect them. I want them to have positive experiences and learn things and come away with an understanding that protecting our environment is important. What I don't want is for Animal Kingdom to become a place where the animals are an afterthought, while fancy attractions and 3D nonsense are the real stars of the show. Because then, it's no better than SeaWorld.

This may seem like an extreme position, because obviously there are no details as to what this means for Animal Kingdom or what AVATAR-Land will include, but for me - this is an unacceptable, incongruous excuse for a "partnership." I'm disappointed - disappointed that Disney would sell out so openly, disappointed that Disney would try to pass off a crappy movie about colonization as somehow appropriate for Animal Kingdom, disappointed that Disney will one day weave AVATAR characters into their merchandise while simultaneously asking guests to donate to their conservation fund. This is corporate hypocrisy at its finest, and unfortunately the animals are the victims. James Cameron might be King of the World, but now he's King of the Jungle too. And it's time to start poaching.

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